Below are a few of my top picks of random news I could find today.
1) Is married life really that good?
A woman recently faced humiliation after lunging herself forward to catch the bouquet at a friends wedding. The determined woman went tooth and nail to catch the flying flowers and ended up falling over, crashing head first into a wall. The best thing is, although the woman mashed her face on the wall, she still held tightly to the bouquet. Ouch. 
2) Metallica Monkey!
A recent study found out, of various types of music ranging from classical to jazz, monkeys took well to heavy metal rock music, in the form of Metallica. Whilst your first thought might be that this would make the monkeys get aggresive and act like ASBO's, you would be wrong as it infact had a soothing effect on them. And I always thought they would like swing!
3) A bit of a shitty situation
At the Leeds festival a 19 year old girl (now known as 'poo girl') dropped her handbag down a porta-loo. Rather than leave it she attempted to retrieve the handbag. Not being able to reach with a single arm, she then stuck her second arm in, but in doing this managed to lock her shoulders inside the toilet seat. It took 7 firemen a total of 20mins to pull the girl free, after which they hosed her down. The story has become so big (apparently) that you can now buy 'poo girl' hoodies. Clearly a bit of a shitty situation, but every cloud eh?
4) ASBO
What do you think of when you see ASBO? Do you think of young teenagers in hoodies running wild and drinking White Shite on streetcorners? Well think again, because this ASBO refers to Anti-Social Baboon Orders. The baboons were issued with ASBO's after breaking into cars at Knowsley Safari Park and stealing helpless visitors clothes and various other items. One visitor who fell victim to the ASBO's said 'Let's face it, nobody wants to see a baboon running up a tree with their underwear'. Poor bugger.
Bye for now
x
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