I've been wondering for a while what sort of area of film or TV I would like to work in, and one thing that stands out for me is kids TV.
It's strange really, I have a huge obsession with childrens television. I'm sure everyone reading this will remember at least one program from their childhood, something that takes them back to being a kid. For me I have a few... The Moomins, The Raccoons, Rugrats... all of these when i watch them now take me back to a time where I can genuinly say I felt at least a little more optimistic than I am now. A time of innocence that only comes with childhood, that feeling that life is one big playground.
To me, childrens TV is one of the best things ever, and it always will. I am constantly reminded that kids TV is the shithole of media, just not worthy of recognition and nothing more than senseless and mindless waffle... but to me, its one of those things that if you don't watch, or give a chance, or love or like... you can never really understand it, and in the same way if you don't have the right state of mind you can't possibly really say its good. I do agree that this doesn't count for all childrens TV, and there is some copper amongst the gold, but there is alot that is really good.
I have a childish imagination in many ways... no matter what these blogs would otherwise suggest, or how I might act in reality, and if I could ever be involved with childrens television, I really my life would be amazing.
Rather a random post I know, but all good things are random.
Toodles
September 27, 2009
September 25, 2009
An Apology, An Update, A Hobo
Hey Everyone,
Just a quick post to say i'm sorry i've not wrote a post in a while.
I'm now at University. Although lessons have not properly stated yet as I am in my induction week, Its quite scary just how busy I am already. It's felt weird not to be online or writing blogs as often as I normally have and would be, but I guess It's something that kind of needs to happen.
I'm not saying I will suddenly have a blossoming social life and be out everynight and never come online, but I will certainly be more busy, and with this new busy life I doubt I shall be able to keep everything up to date as much as I once did. In a way I think I need to cut my Internet dosage down a little... but addiction is a strong thing.
Don't worry, if anyone actually takes the time to read this thing... I will still be here a few times a week (all being well) to cum all over your screens with my thoughts and feelings towards unimportant things (which I realise is a very strange way of putting what is actually just 'writing a blog').
While I am here though, I will mention that University life isn't, for me at least, all its cracked up to be. Maybe its because i'm not all that fussed about going out every night and getting blind drunk and falling into bushes and puking (although my first freshers event was kind of like that, without the bush falling though). I know some people here who have literally been out every night and done the whole typical student thing, including turning up to lectures with the hangover from hell, but its not something I think fondly of or something I feel I will be contributing to, simply because it doesn't interest me that much.
I've done a fair few things so far that I enjoy, like going to the cinema a few times, going for a nice pint and meal, watching a film in the apartment... and I feel this is more the approach I will be taking rather than going out on a bender all the time.
Its quite strange how since I got here, being in University and in the lecture room is the time I have probably most enjoyed. My whole life at the moment (and probably the next three years) has been waking up and getting ready for Uni, maybe doing something in the evening (like the cinema) and then going to sleep ready for Uni. When it comes to evening I am constantly worried about not waking up and missing lectures, or something along those lines, and it really has sucked me into a routine (kind of) of just living for Uni, which is probably not the best approach as such but is happening naturally.
Anyway, I should get off. I'm going to on a trip today and they won't be best pleased if I turn up to the coach in my underwear and looking like a hobo. Talking of hobo's though, there was an Irish hobo sat on a step the other day, and at first he was really nice while asking me for money, and when I kept walking he said, and in an Irish accent may I add (just imagine it) 'Ya filthy faggot. God looks unkindly on your kind and you're gunna go ta hell ya know'.
Which was lovely.
Until next time,
x
Just a quick post to say i'm sorry i've not wrote a post in a while.
I'm now at University. Although lessons have not properly stated yet as I am in my induction week, Its quite scary just how busy I am already. It's felt weird not to be online or writing blogs as often as I normally have and would be, but I guess It's something that kind of needs to happen.
I'm not saying I will suddenly have a blossoming social life and be out everynight and never come online, but I will certainly be more busy, and with this new busy life I doubt I shall be able to keep everything up to date as much as I once did. In a way I think I need to cut my Internet dosage down a little... but addiction is a strong thing.
Don't worry, if anyone actually takes the time to read this thing... I will still be here a few times a week (all being well) to cum all over your screens with my thoughts and feelings towards unimportant things (which I realise is a very strange way of putting what is actually just 'writing a blog').
While I am here though, I will mention that University life isn't, for me at least, all its cracked up to be. Maybe its because i'm not all that fussed about going out every night and getting blind drunk and falling into bushes and puking (although my first freshers event was kind of like that, without the bush falling though). I know some people here who have literally been out every night and done the whole typical student thing, including turning up to lectures with the hangover from hell, but its not something I think fondly of or something I feel I will be contributing to, simply because it doesn't interest me that much.
I've done a fair few things so far that I enjoy, like going to the cinema a few times, going for a nice pint and meal, watching a film in the apartment... and I feel this is more the approach I will be taking rather than going out on a bender all the time.
Its quite strange how since I got here, being in University and in the lecture room is the time I have probably most enjoyed. My whole life at the moment (and probably the next three years) has been waking up and getting ready for Uni, maybe doing something in the evening (like the cinema) and then going to sleep ready for Uni. When it comes to evening I am constantly worried about not waking up and missing lectures, or something along those lines, and it really has sucked me into a routine (kind of) of just living for Uni, which is probably not the best approach as such but is happening naturally.
Anyway, I should get off. I'm going to on a trip today and they won't be best pleased if I turn up to the coach in my underwear and looking like a hobo. Talking of hobo's though, there was an Irish hobo sat on a step the other day, and at first he was really nice while asking me for money, and when I kept walking he said, and in an Irish accent may I add (just imagine it) 'Ya filthy faggot. God looks unkindly on your kind and you're gunna go ta hell ya know'.
Which was lovely.
Until next time,
x
September 22, 2009
Universe-ity
I'm now officially a student.
Its weird being so far away from home, not being able to pop into my grandmas for a coffee and see all my auntys and uncles, cousins, my brother and sister in law... It kind of makes things hard. Its not that I miss them all as such, just that I worry about them. I don't know how they all are, and sure I get the odd Facebook message telling me everything back home is okay, but Its not the same as seeing it for yourself.
Student life has been okay. I'm almost skint thanks to the student loans company fucking me about and not giving me my money. I literally have £10 left to last me until whenever it goes in, lovely that. It doesn't make moving home and going half way across the country any easier, trust me.
Sorry if I have been negative so far, there just seems so much more to worry about now. I have however made some good friends. Not a large amount of friends but some good ones nevertheless. Its strange actually, its like I have known some of the people much longer than I have, which is actually just since Sunday. haha.
Oh, I went to a freshers party the other night too, which was good. I'm not a big drinker, nor like drinking much (despite what people think), but it was a really good night. I went home early as i couldn't consume or stay awake much longer, but all in all I think I did quite well for me.
Its like this is a new planet, a new Universe, everything in it is unfamiliar and new. Sometimes I struggle and find it hard to breath and just want to be back on my own, and others the freshness of being away from where I was is so empowering. Its like... shit, i'm really here.
Anyway, I have to be in a lecture soon, and i'm still in my underwear, which won't go down well. So bye for now and hope to blog about something else soon. I feel i've been so vacant and neglected you all, and used this blog for more personal than random, but hope you can all forgive me.
Toodles peeps,
x
Its weird being so far away from home, not being able to pop into my grandmas for a coffee and see all my auntys and uncles, cousins, my brother and sister in law... It kind of makes things hard. Its not that I miss them all as such, just that I worry about them. I don't know how they all are, and sure I get the odd Facebook message telling me everything back home is okay, but Its not the same as seeing it for yourself.
Student life has been okay. I'm almost skint thanks to the student loans company fucking me about and not giving me my money. I literally have £10 left to last me until whenever it goes in, lovely that. It doesn't make moving home and going half way across the country any easier, trust me.
Sorry if I have been negative so far, there just seems so much more to worry about now. I have however made some good friends. Not a large amount of friends but some good ones nevertheless. Its strange actually, its like I have known some of the people much longer than I have, which is actually just since Sunday. haha.
Oh, I went to a freshers party the other night too, which was good. I'm not a big drinker, nor like drinking much (despite what people think), but it was a really good night. I went home early as i couldn't consume or stay awake much longer, but all in all I think I did quite well for me.
Its like this is a new planet, a new Universe, everything in it is unfamiliar and new. Sometimes I struggle and find it hard to breath and just want to be back on my own, and others the freshness of being away from where I was is so empowering. Its like... shit, i'm really here.
Anyway, I have to be in a lecture soon, and i'm still in my underwear, which won't go down well. So bye for now and hope to blog about something else soon. I feel i've been so vacant and neglected you all, and used this blog for more personal than random, but hope you can all forgive me.
Toodles peeps,
x
September 16, 2009
The more people ask of living, the less their fear of dying?
"When life demands more of people than they demand of life-- as is ordinarily the case-- the result is a resentment of life that is almost as deap-seated as the fear of death. Indeed, the resentment of life and the fear of death are virtually synonymous. Does it follow, then, that the more people ask of living, the less their fear of dying?"
Even Cowgirls Get The Blues
Tom Robbins
Even Cowgirls Get The Blues
Tom Robbins
So, later this week my grandad is having major surgey to try remove an aneurysm which is at the top of the scale (yes, there is such a thing) of aneurysms. He's had it years now, and never known. Its one of the biggest the hospitals he is having the operation at has ever seen, and tried to remove. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried, or that I didn't expect the worst. Its times like this I wish I was more optimistic, that I could hope for the best instead of thinking of the worst.
Then earlier this week my grandma had a mini stroke. I saw her for the first time today and I really wish I hadn't. Its just not a nice sight to behold when one of the people you love more than anything in this whole world barely looks like the person you know and love. It could have been much worse, but I hated seeing her how she was.
Both my grandparents this week have things going on which really makes you realise how much you love family members. For some reason you just never expect grandparents to fall badly ill, or have problems. I didn't anyway. I know no-one can live forever, that would be stupid, but when its someone who has just always been there in your life, it kind of seems unreal to imagine a life without them.
My grandad for me has always been my father figure, the only man in this whole world who I could ever see as my dad. Although I can never say I have had a real heart to heart, a real conversation about my feelings on a subject, I can say I have come closer to having one with him than any other man on this earth, and that means alot. We share different views, we share different opinions, much like many family members, but the way he sees me as a son and I see him as a father figure, for me, is more than I could ever ask of a grandfather/grandson relationship.
He is one of those elderly men who always puts on a brave face. He went through a war, lived through a war, lived through times and things I will probably and hopefully never witness. He is in alot of pain, alot of the time, but never shows it when the family are around. He loves his wife, his family, life. Even today, the day before he goes into hospital, he just went about life like it was any other day. He watched Countdown, made everyone coffee and tea, had a sandwich, went to Tesco. At the same time, all of us, the family, went to see him.
For me, today was the last day I will see him before the operation, before I leave for University on Saturday. If anything happens, good or bad, I won't be here. We have known for months now that an operation was going to happen at some point, last week we found out it would be this week, and it all became real. Throughout the last few months I have been visiting more often, secretly just making sure I had enough time with him, just in case. Today I made sure I had one more photograph with him, just in case.
I could cry right now while writing all this.
It's not the fact that I really expect the worst, but I'm stubborn in the way I need to think the worst and hopefully the better will come, thus making me more happy than I ever could have been if I had thought the best or for one moment expected everything to go well and then was dissapointed with the outcome. It just makes more sense to me this way. It does however mean I go through many battles, think the worst and get upset, but its hard.
I'm pretty sure no-one will have read all this, I didn't and don't expect anyone to, but simply being able to express my thoughts makes things more clear and blows the dust off the old mind matter. For me, if I think through my thoughts hard enough to try and make a clear written communication, it makes those thoughts more easy to understand and easier to put into some sort of order. If I see the thoughts as words, they make more sense, otherwise they are all there and I have no idea what to do with them.
September 14, 2009
Pierrot the Clown
I'm drowning in self-pity today.
It just hit me again that everything is so complicated now, with adult life comes adult responsibilities, with age comes expectation. If I told you I didn't understand alot of things, that would be the truth, but i'm too busy trying to convince everyone around me that i'm fine and in the process only seem to achieve making myself worse. Its a scary time for me, exciting also, but mainly scary. I wish more than anything that I could be back in that school playground as a child with little to worry about. Wish more than anything I could turn back time and maybe take the steps I was too afraid to take. I guess i'll be wishing these things for the rest of my life.
I don't know how some people do it. Live an adult life I mean. I've just started taking the baby steps and already I feel at a dead end before the path has even begun. Maybe its all about learning, and with learning comes a greater peace of mind, but I can safely say at the moment there is little in terms of peace that I seem to be having dished up on my dinner plate.
Why, when I keep my side of the bargain, can others not be the same?
I apologise for being like this. Its just a time when I have so many questions, worries and fears, that I have to get them out. The imagination still lives on, and deep inside I don't know if I will ever lose the magic and poetry. I always fear I will lose that which makes me myself in an adult world, a world where you need to be 'grown up'. I feel stamped on, thrown in the factory only to come out a carbon copy. I went in a tree, I come out a piece of paper, like millions of others.
Pessimist or realist. I'm seriously wondering.
I can never really tell people how I feel in life. I just smile and pretend everything is okay. Its like a mask, as soon as I wake it goes on, when I sleep it comes off but is always close. I just found out my grandma has had a bit of bad health, and my grandad later in the week will be having major surgery. How should I feel when come Saturday i'll be travelling to the other side of the country?
I'll leave this here. I shouldn't blog when I feel the way I feel now. No-one wants to read about others issues when there are many i'm sure you have yourself, and many with much worse.
I'll leave this here. I shouldn't blog when I feel the way I feel now. No-one wants to read about others issues when there are many i'm sure you have yourself, and many with much worse.
'If civilization is ever going to be anything but a grandiose pratfall, anything more than a can of deodorizer in the shithouse of existence, then people are going to have to concern themselves with magic and poetry' Tom Robbins
A boring Blog... No, really.
Firstly, sorry for the lack of communication, if you even noticed at all that I was gone from this 'blogosphere'.
I've been pretty vacant all weekend. Started Friday night with a celebration for my birthday, and as usual the negative vibe I get before going ends up being pretty accurate. It was a disaster of a night, a disaster of epic proportions... infact it sunk with the Titanic it was such a fucking fail.
It just went very, very, very wrong... for a number of reasons which would be wrong to discuss. I had little to do with the disaster and although you may be thinking 'Yeah right, we all say that', its true.
So that was that.
Then for the rest of the weekend I have been very lazy, and then very busy, then lazy again. I've been sorting out some more stuff for Uni, sifting through 18 years worth of hoarding madness and in general trying to clear everything before the big move.
I also gave my beautiful gerbils a new home. Myles and Dave are no longer my babies. It was sad letting them go, but they went to a good home. My bedroom looks very dull and uninteresting without them and there is no-one I can moan at who won't moan back at me for moaning.
That was that.
Then i've simply been watching The Tribe, Beautiful People and a few other DVD's, as well as taking music from my old computer that I no longer have on CD and putting them on this newer computer. I even found some vintage S Club and the spin off kiddy band S Club Juniors (who I saw live back in the day ya know).
So its been a very mixed bag of a weekend. Not quite my normal routine, not quite amazing and never quite sane, but still... It was what it was.
In other news, I will soon be putting in motion my masterplan blog, which as I have said before you may not like... or maybe I will be surprised and you will.
'Til then. Au Revoir!
x
I've been pretty vacant all weekend. Started Friday night with a celebration for my birthday, and as usual the negative vibe I get before going ends up being pretty accurate. It was a disaster of a night, a disaster of epic proportions... infact it sunk with the Titanic it was such a fucking fail.
It just went very, very, very wrong... for a number of reasons which would be wrong to discuss. I had little to do with the disaster and although you may be thinking 'Yeah right, we all say that', its true.
So that was that.
Then for the rest of the weekend I have been very lazy, and then very busy, then lazy again. I've been sorting out some more stuff for Uni, sifting through 18 years worth of hoarding madness and in general trying to clear everything before the big move.
I also gave my beautiful gerbils a new home. Myles and Dave are no longer my babies. It was sad letting them go, but they went to a good home. My bedroom looks very dull and uninteresting without them and there is no-one I can moan at who won't moan back at me for moaning.
That was that.
Then i've simply been watching The Tribe, Beautiful People and a few other DVD's, as well as taking music from my old computer that I no longer have on CD and putting them on this newer computer. I even found some vintage S Club and the spin off kiddy band S Club Juniors (who I saw live back in the day ya know).
So its been a very mixed bag of a weekend. Not quite my normal routine, not quite amazing and never quite sane, but still... It was what it was.
In other news, I will soon be putting in motion my masterplan blog, which as I have said before you may not like... or maybe I will be surprised and you will.
'Til then. Au Revoir!
x
September 10, 2009
It's My Birthday and I'll Blog If I Want To!
Birthdays for me have never been anything exciting. I'm still trying to remove the mental scars from when I was younger and got Hungry Hippo's instead of a PS2 that I wanted.
Today I turned 19. Quite a dissapointing age really. Last year was a biggie, a milestone almost. Last year was my official start to adult life... this year its just not exciting, nor is it big. One thing I can say is that its my last official year as a teenager, which is both a good and bad thing. The optimist in me says it will be the end to my mood swings, the end of bad skin and worrying too much about how I look, the realist in me says i'll be having and worrying about those things for a lifetime, the pessimist says i'm just getting older and soon enough my childhood will be so distant I won't remember it, and also that i'm simply another year closer to wrinkles and death. Yey!
So, today I did nothing exciting, newsworthy or even what can be considered a celebration as such. I went to my grandparents, we went to McD's (I know, glam eh?) and then I helped my grandad get his study back together. Is this a sign of being more grown up? If so, give me a time machine so I can be youthful again. Grant me that wish will ya?
Tomorrow however I'm going out and celebrating in a way which is more sticking with the status quo. I'm going on a piss up. I don't really enjoy drinking, I really don't, however much of a lie that may seem. I don't really enjoy going out and drinking should I say. I don't mind when i'm indoors, nice and warm, with a few friends and a nice DVD or some music in the background, but I really dislike social drinking in nightclubs or wherever else. There are a few reasons. I always seem to be the person that attracts knobheads, I get insulted and looked at menacingly... Its just not pleasent. This is not to say I won't enjoy it, I may, I have done in the past, but there is always that doubt with me.
Before I seem to be having my neg-head on (Oh, I just made up a word!), I did enjoy today. I spent it with some of my family, and what more can I hope for when soon they will not be in my life as often with the big move to University. I've been spending as much time as I can get with them, because I know soon I will probably be wanting to see them and not have the chance as i'm at the other side of the country. As well as that, i'll be missing out on some important and possibly life changing events. I will miss out on the birth of my first niece or nephew, I'll not be here to know if my Grandad come out okay after a pretty huge operation. Big things really, to me anyway.
Okay, I do have my neg-head on today a little, and I apologise, but I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to wish me a happy birthday. I really have appreciated the thought, be it on Twitter or in real life, through text, email or on the phone. They have all meant alot to me. So thank you.
Right, I must be off. I'm going for a small walk with a friend of mine. Another one of my 'Spend as much time as I can while I can' events. Again, not newsworthy, but perfect all the same.
Bye for now.
x
Today I turned 19. Quite a dissapointing age really. Last year was a biggie, a milestone almost. Last year was my official start to adult life... this year its just not exciting, nor is it big. One thing I can say is that its my last official year as a teenager, which is both a good and bad thing. The optimist in me says it will be the end to my mood swings, the end of bad skin and worrying too much about how I look, the realist in me says i'll be having and worrying about those things for a lifetime, the pessimist says i'm just getting older and soon enough my childhood will be so distant I won't remember it, and also that i'm simply another year closer to wrinkles and death. Yey!
So, today I did nothing exciting, newsworthy or even what can be considered a celebration as such. I went to my grandparents, we went to McD's (I know, glam eh?) and then I helped my grandad get his study back together. Is this a sign of being more grown up? If so, give me a time machine so I can be youthful again. Grant me that wish will ya?
Tomorrow however I'm going out and celebrating in a way which is more sticking with the status quo. I'm going on a piss up. I don't really enjoy drinking, I really don't, however much of a lie that may seem. I don't really enjoy going out and drinking should I say. I don't mind when i'm indoors, nice and warm, with a few friends and a nice DVD or some music in the background, but I really dislike social drinking in nightclubs or wherever else. There are a few reasons. I always seem to be the person that attracts knobheads, I get insulted and looked at menacingly... Its just not pleasent. This is not to say I won't enjoy it, I may, I have done in the past, but there is always that doubt with me.
Before I seem to be having my neg-head on (Oh, I just made up a word!), I did enjoy today. I spent it with some of my family, and what more can I hope for when soon they will not be in my life as often with the big move to University. I've been spending as much time as I can get with them, because I know soon I will probably be wanting to see them and not have the chance as i'm at the other side of the country. As well as that, i'll be missing out on some important and possibly life changing events. I will miss out on the birth of my first niece or nephew, I'll not be here to know if my Grandad come out okay after a pretty huge operation. Big things really, to me anyway.
Okay, I do have my neg-head on today a little, and I apologise, but I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to wish me a happy birthday. I really have appreciated the thought, be it on Twitter or in real life, through text, email or on the phone. They have all meant alot to me. So thank you.
Right, I must be off. I'm going for a small walk with a friend of mine. Another one of my 'Spend as much time as I can while I can' events. Again, not newsworthy, but perfect all the same.
Bye for now.
x
September 9, 2009
The Dream Must Stay Alive
I thought I would use this post to vent a little. You see, something has been eating away in the back of my mind for a while now and if I don't get it out soon I may just end up blowing my top. And yes, I did rip off The Tribe for the title of this blog, it relates a little but not much.
Since I was a child, I have known what I wanted to do in my life. I have always dreamed of making movies. Now, by child I mean for as long as I can remember. When I was around 9 years old I got my first ever camcorder. It was a brick of a thing, which belonged first to my grandad. We could never afford a new one, ever, but I was totally over the moon when on Christmas morning I woke up and had this amazing thing I had always wanted.
From then on I spent hours filming. I'd film planes out my window, film my toys and make stop motion animations. I'd film action films in my old garage and make explosions with concrete powder, or film wildlife documentaries. Me and my friend also once attempted to film the whole of The Lord of The Rings, just the two of us. I would film the whole thing and she would play every character, but because I had no way of editing it between each shot she would get changed into the next character and then I would film the next bit.
I spent hours watching films, analysing scenes and watching the behind the scenes footage to learn and try to perfect how to do everything. This was all before I had even gone to high school.
In short, I knew what I wanted and I was trying to learn what I could to achieve my dream.
After high school I made the decision to study Media Production at college. A two year long course where I was hoping to learn as much as possible. I did learn, I tried hard and I left with good results. The next step I am taking is a three year degree studying Film and TV Production.
These are all little steps which I hope may help me get to where I want to go, but this is where my annoyance and point of this post comes in... I'm told I am studying a 'Mickey Mouse' course.
Yes, everything I have done so far is simply not worth much. If it ain't English and something amazingly academic then obviously I am wasting my time. Its funny how there are screenwriters, directors, producers and broadcasters who are praised for the work they do, and yet taking the first steps to achieve this only leads to scorn and a dissaproving frown. The value of a degree in Media to alot of people, including the government, is very little. Its a stupid course for stupid people who have no realistic outlook on life, these people will never get a job where they want one, and obviously they will end up working in McDonalds.
It may sound harsh, but this is what I have been told in the past, and recently, and simply by browsing the internet and looking for discussions the general opinon is the same. If it ain't academic, it ain't worth shit.
Wrong. Do these people actually understand what you learn in these courses? I think not. Someone in my family once said 'Yeah, we can all sit and watch films all day and point a camera'. Yes, we can, but its much more than that. Practical work isn't simply pointing a camera and hoping for the best, everything that you do has to be backed up with theoretical points, nothing can be accidental and everything needs and explanation. Everything. It all has to be planned out, every detail, you have to explain not only why you do what you do but how you do it.
Thats in a nutshell. Then comes to theory side of things. Yes, we watch films, but when you have to analyse every single shot in that film, explaining why certain things were done certain ways, why everything is done the way its done and making sure you can fully understand every decision made, its not really watching a film anymore. And then there is the history of the film business, the business of the film business, the social impacts film has, the way advertising is used and other various areas. When I studied production at college, I had to know about all this, in great depth, and write massive dissertations on those subjects.
As well as this, I had to study the effects the media has on people, how certain people are effected by things, how it may influence us or change societal conventions and the psyche of the individual. I studied social classes and how people can be catorgorised according to what kind of media they consume. All of this just the theory based side.
At the same time as learning all of the above, the theoretical aspects of film, there was the production side I touched upon, where there were many projects that took months to prepare and execute, and whilst all of this was happening I was also doing a side course in Journalism, a side course in Radio related studies and also photography, interactive media and various other areas.
Does that all sound like something easy? Because if you think it is you would be wrong. It takes time and effort, and like everything you get out of it what you put in. There were people who did little in this subject, and they got little out of it, I put my heart into it and got alot. The worst thing is that although I did well, when I hear comments from people saying the course is easy and stupid, or that I will amount to nothing because of my chosen subject, it makes me both sad and rather angry.
I understand its a subject which is competitive, but it opens lots of doors and there are many fields which I can enter afterwards. In the same way, I don't see how English can be so much better, are there really more options?
One of the main things which annoys me is this. The government who have said themselves that the course I am studying isn't as worthwhile has others has succeeded in making me think even less fondly of them. Infact, I would go as far as to say the mightily make me lose faith altogether. Its more the point that I am trying to succeed, trying to do the best I can, and yet this isn't good enough? In a time when unemployment figures are at a low, is it wrong that I am doing something which is said to increase my changes? Or that I am making the steps to try and better myself?
It would be easy for me to go on the dole. I guess I could happily sign on, but I won't. There are a few reasons, one being that I don't want to live my life without knowing I didn't try, what would be the point?
And so it boils down to this. Media related degrees and courses are not easy, simple and for the thick people who have no ambition. They are not less substantial than any other degree, its just ignorance and small mindedness that makes people think they are. No, I am no rocket scientist, I cannot save lives or help the world, but I feel I have a talent and a passion and its something I work hard to achieve. Can you really condemn a guy for trying?
I could ramble on much longer about this, I really could, but I shall end it here.
Rant Over.
Since I was a child, I have known what I wanted to do in my life. I have always dreamed of making movies. Now, by child I mean for as long as I can remember. When I was around 9 years old I got my first ever camcorder. It was a brick of a thing, which belonged first to my grandad. We could never afford a new one, ever, but I was totally over the moon when on Christmas morning I woke up and had this amazing thing I had always wanted.
From then on I spent hours filming. I'd film planes out my window, film my toys and make stop motion animations. I'd film action films in my old garage and make explosions with concrete powder, or film wildlife documentaries. Me and my friend also once attempted to film the whole of The Lord of The Rings, just the two of us. I would film the whole thing and she would play every character, but because I had no way of editing it between each shot she would get changed into the next character and then I would film the next bit.
I spent hours watching films, analysing scenes and watching the behind the scenes footage to learn and try to perfect how to do everything. This was all before I had even gone to high school.
In short, I knew what I wanted and I was trying to learn what I could to achieve my dream.
After high school I made the decision to study Media Production at college. A two year long course where I was hoping to learn as much as possible. I did learn, I tried hard and I left with good results. The next step I am taking is a three year degree studying Film and TV Production.
These are all little steps which I hope may help me get to where I want to go, but this is where my annoyance and point of this post comes in... I'm told I am studying a 'Mickey Mouse' course.
Yes, everything I have done so far is simply not worth much. If it ain't English and something amazingly academic then obviously I am wasting my time. Its funny how there are screenwriters, directors, producers and broadcasters who are praised for the work they do, and yet taking the first steps to achieve this only leads to scorn and a dissaproving frown. The value of a degree in Media to alot of people, including the government, is very little. Its a stupid course for stupid people who have no realistic outlook on life, these people will never get a job where they want one, and obviously they will end up working in McDonalds.
It may sound harsh, but this is what I have been told in the past, and recently, and simply by browsing the internet and looking for discussions the general opinon is the same. If it ain't academic, it ain't worth shit.
Wrong. Do these people actually understand what you learn in these courses? I think not. Someone in my family once said 'Yeah, we can all sit and watch films all day and point a camera'. Yes, we can, but its much more than that. Practical work isn't simply pointing a camera and hoping for the best, everything that you do has to be backed up with theoretical points, nothing can be accidental and everything needs and explanation. Everything. It all has to be planned out, every detail, you have to explain not only why you do what you do but how you do it.
Thats in a nutshell. Then comes to theory side of things. Yes, we watch films, but when you have to analyse every single shot in that film, explaining why certain things were done certain ways, why everything is done the way its done and making sure you can fully understand every decision made, its not really watching a film anymore. And then there is the history of the film business, the business of the film business, the social impacts film has, the way advertising is used and other various areas. When I studied production at college, I had to know about all this, in great depth, and write massive dissertations on those subjects.
As well as this, I had to study the effects the media has on people, how certain people are effected by things, how it may influence us or change societal conventions and the psyche of the individual. I studied social classes and how people can be catorgorised according to what kind of media they consume. All of this just the theory based side.
At the same time as learning all of the above, the theoretical aspects of film, there was the production side I touched upon, where there were many projects that took months to prepare and execute, and whilst all of this was happening I was also doing a side course in Journalism, a side course in Radio related studies and also photography, interactive media and various other areas.
Does that all sound like something easy? Because if you think it is you would be wrong. It takes time and effort, and like everything you get out of it what you put in. There were people who did little in this subject, and they got little out of it, I put my heart into it and got alot. The worst thing is that although I did well, when I hear comments from people saying the course is easy and stupid, or that I will amount to nothing because of my chosen subject, it makes me both sad and rather angry.
I understand its a subject which is competitive, but it opens lots of doors and there are many fields which I can enter afterwards. In the same way, I don't see how English can be so much better, are there really more options?
One of the main things which annoys me is this. The government who have said themselves that the course I am studying isn't as worthwhile has others has succeeded in making me think even less fondly of them. Infact, I would go as far as to say the mightily make me lose faith altogether. Its more the point that I am trying to succeed, trying to do the best I can, and yet this isn't good enough? In a time when unemployment figures are at a low, is it wrong that I am doing something which is said to increase my changes? Or that I am making the steps to try and better myself?
It would be easy for me to go on the dole. I guess I could happily sign on, but I won't. There are a few reasons, one being that I don't want to live my life without knowing I didn't try, what would be the point?
And so it boils down to this. Media related degrees and courses are not easy, simple and for the thick people who have no ambition. They are not less substantial than any other degree, its just ignorance and small mindedness that makes people think they are. No, I am no rocket scientist, I cannot save lives or help the world, but I feel I have a talent and a passion and its something I work hard to achieve. Can you really condemn a guy for trying?
I could ramble on much longer about this, I really could, but I shall end it here.
Rant Over.
Whats in a date?
Today is the 09/09/09. 999. The ninth day of the ninth month of the ninth year. Whats in a date? 47
2000, the millenium passed without an apocalypse. 06/06/06, 666, was just another uneventful Tuesday. 10
November 2009 predicted world population to reach almost 6.8 billion. 6.8 Revelation concerns the 4th horseman, death. 9, nein, no. no, no, no.
25 On this day in the year 1971 'Imagine' by John Lennon was released. In 1911, Italy declared war. In 1999 93 people were killed in an apartment building bomb explosion in Russia.
Does this have any meaning? 32 Nein. Should it? Nein.
Yes, I am rambling. 6
In honesty, this is simply my idea of perverting coincidence.
2000, the millenium passed without an apocalypse. 06/06/06, 666, was just another uneventful Tuesday. 10
November 2009 predicted world population to reach almost 6.8 billion. 6.8 Revelation concerns the 4th horseman, death. 9, nein, no. no, no, no.
25 On this day in the year 1971 'Imagine' by John Lennon was released. In 1911, Italy declared war. In 1999 93 people were killed in an apartment building bomb explosion in Russia.
Does this have any meaning? 32 Nein. Should it? Nein.
Yes, I am rambling. 6
In honesty, this is simply my idea of perverting coincidence.
September 8, 2009
Blog of Revelations
I'm an open minded guy. I enjoy finding out about new things, learning about religion and what people believe in, because if I am ignorant to it I can't honestly have an opinion on it. The thing I don't like is when people try and force something upon you, or doorstep you and post leaflets.
I respect the people who have a belief and a hope in something, people who follow something and love something, but I dislike it when they aim to convert the unconverted into it at every available chance.
I was once a Christian. Once, past tense. One of the things I hated was the fact that I was expected and told in the bible to 'spread the word', to save the immortal souls of those who had not recieved the message, who had not heard the good news, or gospel. This good news was that God so loved the world he sent his one and only son Jesus Christ to die for me. I didn't want people learning about it and knowing about it through a leaflet, or me preaching every two seconds about how great and loving the Lord was. When I found Christianity, it happened naturally, I became interested, I knew a Christian, I asked some questions and went along with them to church and soon after started to believe some of what I heard. I latched onto religion at a time when nothing else in my life was really trustworthy, when things were rough... and this is my point, when I found it, I accepted it and took it in because I wanted to, not because I was forced into it or because a leaflet told me I was going to hell if I didn't listen to what I was being told.
I'm no longer a Christian as I have already said, and that is simply because I couldn't understand or justify some of the things I was told to think. The teachings simply didn't mean much to me, and if I couldn't justify what was 'Gods word' how could I justify God? It was a very personal thing, as is religion or a belief to everyone. I respect people who can believe in it, but for me it wasn't right.
One of the things I was told and taught in the Bible was to spread the word of God. If I could tell someone who didn't know, and they then went on to believe, in essense I had saved someone. In the same way, thats all the people who post these leaflets on doorsteps and hold signs in town centres are doing, trying to save people. They have the best intentions at heart, I understand that, I've been in similar situations, but I dislike it.
Christianity came at a time when I needed it, it was a calling card, something to believe in when I didn't have faith in myself. It helped, alot. I'm thankful. Looking back I can see why I choose religion as something to hold onto, but with the religion came the dogma, the change. I soon became another clone to the many millions of other Christians. I was no longer who I felt I really was. No longer myself.
There were good things about having faith in something. I didn't fear death as I believed after death there was life, an eternal world where all would be happy, no pain, no fear, no hate, no war. I wasn't scared of living, I believed it was a test to prepare me for what was to come. I finally had a father figure in my life, not a father who was there but one who had always been there. I almost had an adopted family in the friends I made at church. The thing about faith is that it is just that, a faith, a belief in something that although it might not be seen or be physical you still believe to be real.
I don't doubt some of it is. I'm not saying its wrong... I just couldn't do it myself. Although I had this faith and belief in something I could not see, it was the things I could that made me realise a faith is not the right thing for me, as in me personally. I could see pain, I would see images of war and death and corruption on TV, I felt pain. I simply could not believe in a god who would love the world so much he sent his son to die for us would not make things a little better. I couldn't. I can't.
I do really get interested in Religion, faiths, cults, beliefs and spiritual things though. I find it fascinating. I love the history and poetic thinking written in holy books. I like finding new things, trying new things and finding what other people think. I think looking back I kind of rushed into making a descision, a choice about what I wanted to commit my life to. Christianity was there, is here now and its easy to access. There are churches up and down the country, specialist shops selling Christian books, many a Christian to talk to. Thats the thing, I knew it was close and I could be let into that world, and I did.
Now I see it all like a shop. I can look around and browse whats on offer. I can inspect the clothes and see if I really like them. I can try things on and if it doesn't fit I put it down again because I have no obligation to buy it. I like that.
I still keep with me some of the teachings I learnt while I was a Christian, but I also take teachings from philosophy, other religions and practices, art, literature, music, film, popular culture. I live in a way I have molded for myself now, and if I said I didn't think it was for the better... I'd be lying.
x
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