Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts

September 22, 2009

Universe-ity

I'm now officially a student.

Its weird being so far away from home, not being able to pop into my grandmas for a coffee and see all my auntys and uncles, cousins, my brother and sister in law... It kind of makes things hard. Its not that I miss them all as such, just that I worry about them. I don't know how they all are, and sure I get the odd Facebook message telling me everything back home is okay, but Its not the same as seeing it for yourself.

Student life has been okay. I'm almost skint thanks to the student loans company fucking me about and not giving me my money. I literally have £10 left to last me until whenever it goes in, lovely that. It doesn't make moving home and going half way across the country any easier, trust me.

Sorry if I have been negative so far, there just seems so much more to worry about now. I have however made some good friends. Not a large amount of friends but some good ones nevertheless. Its strange actually, its like I have known some of the people much longer than I have, which is actually just since Sunday. haha.

Oh, I went to a freshers party the other night too, which was good. I'm not a big drinker, nor like drinking much (despite what people think), but it was a really good night. I went home early as i couldn't consume or stay awake much longer, but all in all I think I did quite well for me.

Its like this is a new planet, a new Universe, everything in it is unfamiliar and new. Sometimes I struggle and find it hard to breath and just want to be back on my own, and others the freshness of being away from where I was is so empowering. Its like... shit, i'm really here.

Anyway, I have to be in a lecture soon, and i'm still in my underwear, which won't go down well. So bye for now and hope to blog about something else soon. I feel i've been so vacant and neglected you all, and used this blog for more personal than random, but hope you can all forgive me.

Toodles peeps,

x

September 9, 2009

The Dream Must Stay Alive

I thought I would use this post to vent a little. You see, something has been eating away in the back of my mind for a while now and if I don't get it out soon I may just end up blowing my top. And yes, I did rip off The Tribe for the title of this blog, it relates a little but not much.

Since I was a child, I have known what I wanted to do in my life. I have always dreamed of making movies. Now, by child I mean for as long as I can remember. When I was around 9 years old I got my first ever camcorder. It was a brick of a thing, which belonged first to my grandad. We could never afford a new one, ever, but I was totally over the moon when on Christmas morning I woke up and had this amazing thing I had always wanted.

From then on I spent hours filming. I'd film planes out my window, film my toys and make stop motion animations. I'd film action films in my old garage and make explosions with concrete powder, or film wildlife documentaries. Me and my friend also once attempted to film the whole of The Lord of The Rings, just the two of us. I would film the whole thing and she would play every character, but because I had no way of editing it between each shot she would get changed into the next character and then I would film the next bit.

I spent hours watching films, analysing scenes and watching the behind the scenes footage to learn and try to perfect how to do everything. This was all before I had even gone to high school.

In short, I knew what I wanted and I was trying to learn what I could to achieve my dream.

After high school I made the decision to study Media Production at college. A two year long course where I was hoping to learn as much as possible. I did learn, I tried hard and I left with good results. The next step I am taking is a three year degree studying Film and TV Production.

These are all little steps which I hope may help me get to where I want to go, but this is where my annoyance and point of this post comes in... I'm told I am studying a 'Mickey Mouse' course.

Yes, everything I have done so far is simply not worth much. If it ain't English and something amazingly academic then obviously I am wasting my time. Its funny how there are screenwriters, directors, producers and broadcasters who are praised for the work they do, and yet taking the first steps to achieve this only leads to scorn and a dissaproving frown. The value of a degree in Media to alot of people, including the government, is very little. Its a stupid course for stupid people who have no realistic outlook on life, these people will never get a job where they want one, and obviously they will end up working in McDonalds.

It may sound harsh, but this is what I have been told in the past, and recently, and simply by browsing the internet and looking for discussions the general opinon is the same. If it ain't academic, it ain't worth shit.

Wrong. Do these people actually understand what you learn in these courses? I think not. Someone in my family once said 'Yeah, we can all sit and watch films all day and point a camera'. Yes, we can, but its much more than that. Practical work isn't simply pointing a camera and hoping for the best, everything that you do has to be backed up with theoretical points, nothing can be accidental and everything needs and explanation. Everything. It all has to be planned out, every detail, you have to explain not only why you do what you do but how you do it.

Thats in a nutshell. Then comes to theory side of things. Yes, we watch films, but when you have to analyse every single shot in that film, explaining why certain things were done certain ways, why everything is done the way its done and making sure you can fully understand every decision made, its not really watching a film anymore. And then there is the history of the film business, the business of the film business, the social impacts film has, the way advertising is used and other various areas. When I studied production at college, I had to know about all this, in great depth, and write massive dissertations on those subjects.

As well as this, I had to study the effects the media has on people, how certain people are effected by things, how it may influence us or change societal conventions and the psyche of the individual. I studied social classes and how people can be catorgorised according to what kind of media they consume. All of this just the theory based side.

At the same time as learning all of the above, the theoretical aspects of film, there was the production side I touched upon, where there were many projects that took months to prepare and execute, and whilst all of this was happening I was also doing a side course in Journalism, a side course in Radio related studies and also photography, interactive media and various other areas.

Does that all sound like something easy? Because if you think it is you would be wrong. It takes time and effort, and like everything you get out of it what you put in. There were people who did little in this subject, and they got little out of it, I put my heart into it and got alot. The worst thing is that although I did well, when I hear comments from people saying the course is easy and stupid, or that I will amount to nothing because of my chosen subject, it makes me both sad and rather angry.

I understand its a subject which is competitive, but it opens lots of doors and there are many fields which I can enter afterwards. In the same way, I don't see how English can be so much better, are there really more options?

One of the main things which annoys me is this. The government who have said themselves that the course I am studying isn't as worthwhile has others has succeeded in making me think even less fondly of them. Infact, I would go as far as to say the mightily make me lose faith altogether. Its more the point that I am trying to succeed, trying to do the best I can, and yet this isn't good enough? In a time when unemployment figures are at a low, is it wrong that I am doing something which is said to increase my changes? Or that I am making the steps to try and better myself?

It would be easy for me to go on the dole. I guess I could happily sign on, but I won't. There are a few reasons, one being that I don't want to live my life without knowing I didn't try, what would be the point?

And so it boils down to this. Media related degrees and courses are not easy, simple and for the thick people who have no ambition. They are not less substantial than any other degree, its just ignorance and small mindedness that makes people think they are. No, I am no rocket scientist, I cannot save lives or help the world, but I feel I have a talent and a passion and its something I work hard to achieve. Can you really condemn a guy for trying?

I could ramble on much longer about this, I really could, but I shall end it here.

Rant Over.