After rain comes rainbows... I'm waiting.

I look for a good beginning... but it becomes a dissapointment.

My heart and mind fluctuate constantly. How is it that I can be so happy one moment and so much in contrast the next? I wish I understood. I wish someone could guide me.

I do wonder if others feel the same but I suspect most don't. Or maybe like me the mask goes on at sunrise and leaves when the sun sets, ever more present in company of human eyes. Its an age old feeling now, and i'm still in my infancy going by statistic. This way of thinking though could be the death of me, and its that which sends worry through my veins.

If this is natural, if I were born to think and be the way I am, will I ever make of life what I want? Or will it forever be a game of cat and mouse where I am chasing something I can never grasp? I would be lying if it didn't seem that way right now.

C'est la Vie. I cannot let this stump me now before I even begin the long road. I have a feeling the next few years of my life will be anything but simple, but if I fail now can I honestly say I will make it in the future? If I go into this, and try... regardless of what my heart and mind tell me... I think they call it persistance... then maybe I will overcome some demons.

After rain comes rainbows. I'm waiting.