In honesty...

I hate banks... I really do.

Don't get me wrong, without them I wouldn't be receiving an education right now. I would probably be stuck either in a dead end job or no job at all (which is the most probable option considering the current conomic climate), but regardless of this, the banks seem to get away with things people in general wouldn't... like stealing money from someone who can barely afford to eat, stealing the very little money which on a good week only just pays for rent and bills without even taking into consideration other aspects which some people find themselves in.

I've been keeping track of banks and the whole 'payback' from consumers where bank charges can be paid back, and at the moment, though this whole thing is on hold there is a possible chance that bank charges can be paid back for hardship, which I would say applies in this case.

Either way, I do not simply understand how banks can do the things they do, while the people who lash out these 'consequences' get overpaid and often get huge bonuses. If I were working for a corrupt system, would I really want a bonus when I know people are worrying about living day to day? I don't think I would.

I hope the people who work in the head offices, or those in charge of banks actually realise the utterly terrible situation they leave some people in. I hope they cannot sleep at night knowing they leave people who make simple mistakes worry about how they can keep a roof over their heads... though I doubt somehow they would considering they will be sleeping on their big fat wages.

Don't get me wrong, some people are irresponsible and borrow money when they know they cannot afford to, and in return this borrowing means they end up in huge amounts of debt, but for a simple mistake that got out of hand it repulses me when banks do what they do.

I don't want to go into too much detail, but it's safe to say they have left things up shit creek without a paddle. Thanks banks... for fuck all.

In other news, I go back to university on Friday (if I can get there with this weather), and I have to say I really don't want to go now. I almost feel a sense of dread, not at the educational side as I mentioned in the previous blog, but because of everything else. I have no idea how I even feel at the moment considering Uni, what to do even. I feel like if I had the option I wouldn't go back, but what would really be the point in that? Would it help me in the long run? I don't think so.

It's strange how many decisions you need to make when you get over a certain age. Ones that not only effect the immediate future but the long term. I find it difficult, very difficult. The worst thing is not really feeling like you have anyone who you can confide in, or explain these issues and worries to. I feel like I need someone here at the moment to give me advice, tell me either to go with my heart or my mind, or give me some sense of what I must do in order to acheive something and reach an ultimate goal.

I guess it all falls on me though.

I don't know though, I really don't. I think at the moment I am just in a confused state of mind that is all over the place. Like I said with the last blog, I probably will go back, and try as hard as I can to make something of it, change it and make it the best it can be...

Fuck. When did things get so hard? I know this isn't much in comparison to other peoples issues and worries, but all these small things really weigh on my mind and add up to one big thing... and I find it hard coping.

Does it ever get easier? I suspect not.