Go do...

I think I've realised something while I have been at University, which is actually a step in the right direction for me and my future.

I say this all the time, but I have always wanted to be a film-maker. The strange thing is, up until recently I've always sort of wanted to do feature films, or short films, but within the last few weeks while I have been thinking in depth about what I want from all this and to do ideally for the rest of my life... I came to a realisation.

I think something I really want to be is an artist, that is, a visual artist. I know film-makers can be visual artists in some contexts, but every time I have done projects within college or university that has no boundaries or story as such to tell, I have always enjoyed it much more than sticking to something with conventions and rules, or a narrative.

I don't even know if any of this makes sense.

It's like... I really just enjoy picking up a camera and filming anything, in whatever way I want, without restriction, and then seeing what I can do with all that footage... rather than planning something and spending forever sorting things out. It almost takes the fun out of making things for me, because I really get turned off by having to do something a certain way, or not being able to be free... it's like a mental prison.

This isn't to say working of short films or things of this nature are not fun in some way, or cannot be rewarding, but the whole process just seems to lack the magic of just doing something and not having it all planned... capturing the world through spontaneous and random moments that take your fancy then seeing what you get with it.

Obviously, this has limited options. Who would watch a DVD of just short/long experimentation and random things put together? Not many people I suspect, but it has a place in galleries and the like, where people go to be see things in a new way, rather than be told a story (most of the time).

For me, there is something special in physically seeing something that isn't just on a screen... something 3d, or in an environment that is specially created for one specific thing, something which transforms from project to project, a personal space. I love art galleries, and i've been to some amazing visual exhibitions which just really transport you into a different place which you are in a room.

I don't know... But I think this is where I kind of, belong. Just being creative and artistic, without too many boundaries or set ways of doing things, and just capturing without plans, getting things as they are.

It's something to think about.