All is full of love... and money.

I hate adverts. I really do, in every form. Although I don't have a TV anymore, this time of year always screams one thing... money.

They (adverts) give you these ideals about what life is...

A slow fade in from black to a mountain scene and a woman whispering in your ear some beautiful poetry about water, a swan sits in the lake, a child in red wellington boots, an old couple dancing a waltz and throwing food at each other but smiling all the way... lovely music, with cello, a cresendo of strings.

And then the punchline... just as the hair on your neck stands on end and your nipples are hard...

BUY THIS THING.

If you don't buy this chocolate/car/fucking useless piece of shite... your life will never have such beauty and poetry, ever.

Same with the hip adverts with sexy young models running around half naked with the ripped muscles of their torso's dripping in some form of shiny water based stuff... pumping music and sexy french accents.

BUY THIS THING.

If you don't buy this smelly water you can never wish to be beautiful and wanted, never even think of being irresistable. If you don't have a body like a god then the same applies... infact, if you are not this idea of beauty, why are you even alive? But this smelly water will possibly help you, because the smell will put people off your ugly ass face.

And this is where the problem lies dear friend... I want all of these things.

I want the swans in slow motion and the poetry.

Y'know?

It's the same for things you NEED to buy for other people... That toy for a child you might know, that CD for your mother with shitty pop songs and horrid balleds, that band your cousin really loves that keeps appearing on the TV...

If I buy that CD, my mum will love me a million times more than normal this x-mas... All for the cheap price of £9.99... oh yes, eternal love. When in reality it ends up at the back of a draw somewhere and gets listened to only when she is decorating and is fed up of listening to Elvis (which happens rarely).

I hate this side of Christmas, and the overwhelming feeling of being skint yet knowing I need to set that little bit aside to get someone something. I would seriously like to be rich one year, and splash out and buy everyone the thing they really want, but i'm not rich... and this christmas will be hard enough as it is because currently I am wondering how I survive until the next bit of money comes in on the 18th of January... Make sense?

Yeah... Being young at christmas is awesome. You get everything and no-one expects jack shit... and then you are 18 and you are expected, and what do you say to that? I would cancel it if I could. I think people are only giving me money anyway, so why not just say 'It's cool love, with that £10 go buy yourself something you REALLY want, and tell yourself its from me, even its a shitty bottle of wine from Tesco'.

And so... the christmas blues have come early this year. Well, its to be expected when I see it shoved in my face everywhere I turn.

This has been a pointless and far too long rant... and yes, I know that... but I'm bored, and its on my mind, and this is what a blog is for, no? I won't lie, I still love christmas simply because it means some time with family, its a time we all get together, which in itself is good enough.

Right... I have a jar of coffee screaming at me to consume its contents, and I cannot resist.

Until next time (which might just be sooner rather than later, but who knows?),

JH

x