Suggested Soundtrack: Head Like a Hole - Nine Inch Nails
I have just read what could possibly be one of the most cringe-worthy news stories I have read in a LONG time. For the faint hearted and males out there, read with caution.
A woman was performing a sexual favour upon a work mate in a car, this favour being of an oral nature. Yes, she was giving the work mate, her boss, a blow job. She by the way, was a 30 year old secretary, which means very little but adds a little more depth to the story.
So, the secretary is giving the boss some pleasure in a parked up car in a Singapore carpark. Without warning, the car they were in was hit by a reversing van. Now, i'm pretty sure it would not take a rocket scientist to work out what happens, but can you guess?
Yes dear friend, the impact of the collision caused the secretary to bite off the mans penis. Bad enough? Well, to make matters worse, they were being watched by a private detective who was sent by the womans husband to see if she was having an affair. Thankfully the detective called an ambulance after witnessing the event, and the secretary and boss were taken to hospital, the man now without a manhood and the woman holding parts of his penis in her hands.
I can look at this from a few points of view. Firstly, imagine if you had been the lovers. Although I don't know the full details of this story, I would like to imagine the conversation prior to this event took place on a lunch break in the office, and went a little something like this:
Secretary: Hey baby
Boss: Hey, fancy another trip in the shag wagon?
Secretary: Sure, i'll grab my coat.
This is unlikely to be the conversation that took place, but I would like to think of it in that way. Humour me.
Next, lets look at it from the view of the detective. Its another day at work, just another day seeking those shots which will tell all about another cheating partner. You follow the woman you have been asked to follow out of the office and into a car with what looks like her boss, infact by now you know its her boss, they have been getting closer and closer. They park the car in a normal looking carpark, you park nearby. You take out your camera, set yourself up in a prime spot in a tree. Your watching, waiting for the money shot. You see the woman slowly positioning herself for what looks like a very close encounter with the man, and there it is, all happening before your very eyes (and lens). Suddenly, before you have a chance to do anything you see a van reversing, getting closer and closer to the parked car, until...
The next thing you know you hear a crash, the woman screams, the man screams. The woman lifts up her head... her mouth now covered in blood. You realise what has happened... is that... is that a penis in her mouth? A penis not attached to anything!? Woah.
You ring an ambulance, they go to the hospital.
Now... This has indeed been an eventful day. You certainly got evidence for your client that his wife was infact cheating on him, but what started as another normal day ended in a way you could never have expected.
You would certainly have something to tell your friends down at the pub anyway.
These sorts of stories always interest me. I know so far all I have commented on are stories and things including some sort of sexual content, but thats just because these stories fell into my lap (mind the pun) and interested me. I am in no way looking for these sorts of stories, for the record. The thing is though, you have to admit, that whole event was just bad luck. Either way, however bad it is, what with a man having no penis and the woman being embarassed beyond belief, it is a bit funny.
In a way, the man deserves not to have a cock, he was having an affair with a woman who i'm pretty sure he must have known was married, and in a way the woman deserves the trauma, she was cheating on her husband... but I don't know the full story, only the punchline. I can only speculate, fill in the gaps and make up the events leading to the climax.
One thing that interested me though was this. Alot of people I know have at some point cheated on someone, been unfaithful or had sexual encounters with someone whilst being in a relationship with someone else, what if this had happened to them? It could happen to anyone.
I feel like I should end this with some sort of lesson, like all of this was an elaborate story made up to warn those who cheat of the dangers they may face, the things that may happen... but i'll let you make of it what you will.
Bye!
x
